You know when your kids run up to you the minute you got off of a long, hard day at work, whining about something that is not an emergency and you impatiently say to them "please, not right now".... well that is how I am feeling about alot of yall...NOT RIGHT NOW!
But let me start here...with my therapeutic hat on (Sigh) - Not only do I empathize with the feeling of overwhelm when it comes to politics in general, but also experience my own fluctations in mental health directly related to just the thought of what may lie ahead. Your feelings (and mine) are significantly valid. Our mental health shifts everytime we see a political ad, think about broken political promises, doomscroll through all of the polarizing posts, and of course fall down the rabbithole of reading the comments of folks on the internet --> clicking on their profiles to see who the hell this person is --> scrolling through all of their posts--> and going back to the original post to vengefully report them as spam!
I digress. The mental health, specifically of the Black and Brown communities, is something that has never been a priority in this country. On the contrary, it has been the manifestation of the laws of this country that have directly contributed to some of the inherent trauma that exisits and continues to infect our communities. This trauma runs deep. It is generational. Some even argue it is imbeded within our DNA...so deep in fact that so many of us fail to recognize it (but that is for another day).
The intentionality of America's destruction of the Black family continues to show up through policy. Black maternal health, mass incarceration, housing discrimination and even microagressions (which I argue are also imbedded within the fabric of this country) are a direct result of decades of purposeful acts by those meant to be "for the people".
And...Sonya Massey (#sayhername) - And all those who came before and will come after. All those who we never heard about and will never know about. I read something recently that talked about how folks have to go to school for so many years to practice law, but we require so little to enforce it. I know you have heard about project 2025 right? Police immunity...it all feels very intentional.
I say all that to say "Please, not right now". Right now is not the time to disengage. And let me tell you my little opinion as to why. Clinically speaking, I would assess this country and its constituents (you and me) as being in a space where we may be a 'danger to ourselves and others'. At the very least, I have some serious concerns about our well being. And when we rise to this level of concern, the thought is that we move closer to a solution. We seek out treatment. We ENGAGE in our own healing process.
I want us to think of this government as our family and its oppressive laws and systems as the toxic behaviors that have perpetuated generational trauma and some of our personal traumas. We are at the point where maybe we recognize that while can point the finger at our family for continuing to perpetuate this toxicity, we do hold some personal responsibilty in our own attempt at healing and trying to improve things.
So maybe we reach out to a therapist. A support group. A psychiatrist who introduces medication. Maybe we start reading some self help books or attend family counseling sessions. Perhaps we even check ourselves in for a brief mental health stay to really focus on healing. But one way or another, we engage. We engage in our own healing and treatment so that we can try to start to see a difference in how we are showing up in the world.
And if we don't? If we choose to disengage? What if, instead of moving toward treatment and healing, we choose to stay where we are, doing what we are doing, functioning amidst the dysfunction. What if we say "It is too hard, too overwhelming, i dont have the energy to even address the depth of the issues i would need to face!" What if we feel like "nothing is going to change just from going to therapy".
Well. That may be true. Therapy, medication, support groups, self help...none of it is a guaranteed fix. Because family systems are so complex and even if we are doing our individual part to try to heal, sometimes that unhealed, problematic cousin comes around stirring up stuff and triggering us again! But guess what...that doesnt mean that you cannot keep doing the work to make the small changes within yourself.
So, please, not right now. Right now is not the time for you to ignore the effect that your "family" is having on you. Now is not the time for complaints with no solutions. Now is not the time for the "this is just how I am" crap. Now is not the time for you to keep complaining about what Mommy and Daddy did and not engaging in the process of trying to fix how it has affected you!
Do not let today be the day and do not let this year be the election cycle that you allow the gravity of our "family dysfunction" to lead you to disegagement. We have hit the point of intervention and it is time for us to engage in an attempt at our own and our collective healing. You have two choices...you can continue to sit in your (our) own trauma OR you can choose to engage in a POSSIBILITY of change. Change for you. Change for me. Change for the children of Sonya Massey. Change that has the capacity to alter our DNA over time.
So please, not right now with all the excuses.
As for me, I #standwithher - because the alternative is simply not an option.
-with love,
Simone
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